Fünfzig *

“Talent borrows;”-a distorted brainiac once famously announced-“Genius steals.”

In the same vein I will rip off misterhubs' most recent entry because despite all the insane incidents and universe-realigning original topics swirling in my head (maniacally winking to be blogged about) I, for (bleep!)'s sake cannot muster to sit five minutes in a row without getting butt blisters. Add to this chronic restlessness my occasional impotence in the coherence department. I would sit with a germ of an idea that will no doubt mature into a monumental literary opus and my generally-dormant but irresponsible wart of a mutant chromosome starts kicking in and my thoughts would disperse like Paris Hilton's IQ at the Hollywood Mensa bureaux.

This entry is also mired by unblushing narcissism because my drivels got casually wedged in his list--the mere mention of my blog elsewhere gets me sexually aroused. I begin to get turgid and my lungs constrict, my breathing gets labored as I reach for my...

Ok, let's not go there.

I also have an excuse: I want to distract my mind off mind because if I dwell on the fact that my newly-moved-in flat remains a striking dead ringer of Kabul after the great American sodomy I'd sooner go stark raving mad. Compounded by a series of homicide-inducing dustups with a consultant to a client over an ad campaign last week, I am increasingly prone to waving at members of the clergy with four fingers bent. That, or start open-firing at a Rotary Club convention. Or start knitting spindles of dental floss into miniature flags of member states of the United Nations while humming a gravelly Ray-Charles-meets-Macy-Gray-on-speed before hitting the allegro molto crescendos of It's A Small World After all.

You get the drift.

Fifty random things I like:

01. Oversleeping. Sadly, this activity hates me back because I'm not getting enough of it.
02. Brilliant Warpedness - Dilbert, Krazy Kat, Cathy, The Far Side, but one will get a special billing:
03. Calvin & Hobbes.
O4. Mcflurry. (a toss up with Cookies & Cream flavored ice cream)
05. Mangoes.
06. Brilliant Warpedness 2 – David Sedaris, Cathie Pelletier, Dave Barry, Mike Royko, Erma Bombeck, The Gangster Of Love, Woody Allen, The British Version of The Office
07. Music. EXCEPT: all those Wimp Rock “I Hate Myself I Wanna Die” EMO Shit; “Woe Is Me I Am Bluer Than Picasso's Series That I Wanna Overdose On Prozac” country music; the vaginal shrieks of Celine Dion, (sorry attorney hubs!) Mariah Carey, and the retardation conducive sounds of Shania Twain, Britney, Hanson and Backstreet Boys.
08. Sarah Silverman.
09. White boxerbriefs.
10. Downy white sheets.

11. Books.
12. Magazines: The New Yorker/Atlantic Monthly/Radar Magazine/Adbusters/The Believer/McSweeney's/(the now defunct) Zembla Magazine/ 032C/Matador/ Domus /Casa da Abitare/ Wallpaper/Monocle
13. All Cameron Crowe films. Yes, even the calamitous Vanilla Sky.
14. Nick Hornby
15. Maison porn: Vitra, Capellini, Herman Miller, Artek, Philippe Starck, Tord Boontje, Bang & Olufsen, Rose Lovegrove, Yves Behar, Ron Arad
16. Fierce Modernists: Tadao Ando, Zaha Hadid, Rem Koolhaas, Santiago Calatrava, Renzo Piano
17. Indie films.
18. Scalding hot showers after a nerve-grating day at work.
19. Waking up to very soft music in the morning.
20. The TV series, House, M.D.

21. The color blue.
22. The mind-bogglers: Rene Magritte, Salvador Dali, Mark Rothko, Cy Twombly, Helen Frankenthaler, Paul Klee.
23. The Sixties. (No, I wasn't born during the sixties. If you are in the creative industry you'd know what I mean.)
24. The Thursday Group! (pronounced Tars Day by the German Moreno School Of Mangled Phonetics) Fatima Alvir Forever! Nyahaha.
25. Seiko Films.
26. Scrabble.
27. A great argument.
28. Laughter.
29. Striking up hysterical conversations with complete strangers in foreign airports.
29. ZOMG talking fruits!
30. skinny neckties.

31. Clear summer afternoons.
32. Splash of androgynous CK One on women, Hugo Boss on men.
33. Seafoods
34. The poetry of Sid Gomez Hildawa, Rilke, Neruda, Lourd de Vera, and Angelo Gelo Suarez
35. Contemporary fiction.
36. Scandinavian/Nordic Design.
37. Swiss typography.
38. The vibe of Tokyo
39. Piquant Antics: ian's, misterhubs, datu, coldman, q, agentboytoy, xienah, cofibean, kwentongbarbero, noisy noisy man
40. The mind-melders: Freud. Kafka. Chekhov.

41. Deliriously slow, sensual fuck.
42. The sudden rush of connection with someone.
43. Hearing 'Thank you,' 'I'm sorry,' and 'Apology accepted.'
44. Lancing the touchy-feely, fragile egos of idiots.
45. The mobile phone not ringing on weekends.
46. Horse-back riding.
47. Pedaling downhill a steep slope with the brakes acting up.
48. Seeing a smile race across the face of a cynical client during tough concept briefings.
49. Smart, funny people.
50. Brilliant Warpedness Part Trois: Daria, The Simpsons.

50 and a half. My new ex-next door neighbor.
50 and three fourths. Beer.


* Fifty if I do Gestapo Speak