Blocked Bloke Go Bonkers

Thursday had me on the brink of snapping berserk and start open firing in the crowded intersection of a nearby mall.

Three appointments got unceremoniously cancelled at the last minute prompting me to have steaming competition with the roasting summer heat. The idea of ditching work priorities and watch Spiderman 3 on a midday of a working week flickered briefly in my head. In the end I decided to careen home from the The Podium to catch up on my much needed nap. I have been suffering fucked up sleeping patterns again lately, which explains the updates on this blog done during irregular hours while the rest of the populace are having wet dreams.

Anticipating an enervating afternoon nap I head home whistling a happy tune in my head.

Then, of course, the irresponsible slut of a universe dropped its prank of the day.

I twisted the keys and pushed the door in.

A loud thud.

The inner door latch must have flicked back, conveniently locking me out.

Ok, here’s a little unpleasant detail about me: I have a lousy temper over things like this.

Have you seen Jerry Maguire? Yes the movie starring Tom Cruise.

Remember that shower scene where he goads Cuba Gooding to “Help me, help you! Help ME, help YOU!” and when Cuba laughed at this antic he began flipping out flinging his hands sideways, kicking the tiles yelling “Fine! Fine!”

That was exactly MY hallway scene. Only for more dramatic effect I was mightily booting the door and lobbing my laptop bag in every direction while letting out unpunctuated streams of really foul oaths.

Good thing no other building residents were around and the roving guards didn’t witness the flip out. I could have either been evicted or committed.

Eventually I got exhausted. Giving up, I slumped on the hallway floor and with my heart thumping an electric live version of all the bass lines in Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit called a locksmith from my cellphone who promptly sent someone over to unhinge the freaking door latch.

I thanked the utility guy, gave him money, slammed the door behind me and, imagining how I probably looked had this happened to be a Candid Camera show, laughed like a deranged maniac.