Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Lowest in my ladder of priorities right now is blogging. Or having a semblance of uninjured online life (which I am sure annoys a few people, most notably, the villainous panda who mindfucked an unsuspecting chatter in a wicked effort to extradite me into the Limbo of Pure Horror). So why am I posting this entry?

Putting it into perspective, I'm nuts. It won't take three clones of Jessica Simpson to figure this out.

No, not really.

You see I arrived home exhausted from a day of running around covering two widely adjacent districts of the metro. Add to this the distressing thought that I haven't bought anything for anyone and as far as gift giving is concerned I might as well go around with a tattoo in my forehead that blinks “SANTA IS DEAD.”

Don't give me THAT look now. I figured I'll do my gift shopping AFTER the holiday rush when it is safer to hit the malls, which, by then, will be castrated of crazed shoppers. I have also given a thought on bribing some morally bankrupt medical practitioner to issue me a certificate that says “terminal stage of transient amnesia” and give the miserly shame a really snazzy medical spin. LOL.

Anyway, not to wander off farther from the first paragraph's mind-boggler: why am I posting this entry when it's almost five in the morning and later today the priorities are threatening to cancel each other out of commission?

Because the fatigue has advanced into such a malaise that prevented me from slipping into sleep. I have already devoured four different magazines, three episodes of a favorite TV show on DVD, sped read through several pages of the most delicious hypnotic novel I have read lately and flipped through a trade book on information architecture.

And I'm still awake.

I know what you and your soiled little minds are thinking. And your soiled little mind winks its nasty leer as it mouths off: “Ever thought of doing the thing most guys do when they, ahem, can't sleep?”

Now look at me. Do I came off like an idiot to you? Frankly I am insulted that you have asked me such a question! Of course I have given it a thought! A copious amount of thoughts, as a matter of fact.

But I didn't.

Instead I blogged.

Sublimating is the word.

Blogging, in itself, is a form of public masturbation.


CW said...

Lol. "blogging as a form of public masturbation". Kinda.

So, if you comment on someone's blog, what is that called? Lol.

Happy Holidays LC.

datu/the wilted prune said...

oh come on now. i know your "itching" for it. >:)

Mac! said...

“Ever thought of doing the thing most guys do when they, ahem, can't sleep?”

Isn't that what most guys do?
Tsk, tsk, tsk.

loudcloud said...

CW - it's called circlejerk LOL

datu - my, you have a very soiled mind. hahaha.

mac! - yes, that's what most semen-narians do :-)

excuse me i have to dash out and deal with a bratty client :P

Mugen said...

When I masturbate, I lose all drive to write. So I finish an entry first... then do the other deed. LOL.

Merry Christmas Loudcloud!

tagabukid said...

Merry Christmas :D

The Capitalist Panda said...

I always knew you were an exhibitionist...

No matter, you're welcome to masturbate anywhere - my house, my bedroom, you get the picture. >:)

and what is this "villainous panda who mindfucked an unsuspecting chatter in a wicked effort to extradite me into the Limbo of Pure Horror"?

1. The "chatter" isn't innocent.
2. you have fantasies about said chatter (and chatter's dungeons)
3. I wouldn't mindfuck the chatter - I wouldn't do anything remotely sexual with him. But I know you would. >:)
4. You still owe us a libre
5. That's what you get for being drunk all the time
6. Next time you have any... *cough* needs, there's a whole slew of people you can call to.. "ease the pain". >:) Of course, it might have been the viagra we gave you, but then, you'll never know, would you? >:)

red the mod said...

I have always believed Christmas as one of the most commercialized of Christian celebrations. Considering the fact that it was a historical lie propagated to upstage a pagan ritual of the shining child slated on the very same night, it was one of the church's methods of subtly incorporating and pacifying paganism.

Today Christmas is a time to feign friendships in the workplace by way of an indirect competition as to who gives the better gift to their kris kringle, a method of reestablishing familial relations with relatives long believed to be indifferent, or to revisit friendships forgotten in the ensuing slew of deadlines and revisions.

I may be going against the trend, but giving a gift is something very personal for me. It is irrelevant whether the season prescribes it or not. When one deserves it, I will not hesitate.

But alas, subliminating my convictions for the sake of the people around me, I follow what is socially considered norm, only to feed the illusions of youth, and the vindication of my parents' just upbringing. But I don't mind. Though the methods are less than my preference, it is only a means for other people to experience the intangible and albeit valuable virtues of this season.

If giving is the only means to pay it forward, then by all means give.

Happy Holidays LoudCloud.

JBCab said...

The hustle and bustle for gifts is terrible, even I had to do my shopping twice in different malls. x_x Hope you had a great Christmas. Happy new year too!

(This is Antigonic btw, if you can still remember me, lol)

amateur ear said...

I hear you ...

Kaya ako bumabawa this Christmas break (what remains of it, that is).


coldman said...

happy new year!

ian said...

hmm i think you're just... marinating.

which beats urinating.

but not mating.

haaay hehe

second day back in the office and i've managed to wander into this nook.

happy new year as well.

PS- you and Jerry Springer have the same birthday harhar *figures*

loudcloud said...

mugen - that kind of transparency is what the world needs right now. do humanity a favor: infect the congress/senate of such practice.

tagabukid - and a belated Merry Christmas to you, too! hope you're bringing me the good cheers from my countryside friends, the irrepressible crickets :-)

loudcloud said...

capitalist panda - i must say i am in awe of your talent in offering advise that will suit your ulterior motives!

red the mod - your gift-giving principles will wipe the smiles off the faces of capitalist swines more likely.

antigonic! antigonic! you are alive and well! yey!

loudcloud said...

amateur ear! - you are back and active! such pleasant rings in my ears hope your holidays were terrific!

twice the joyous cheer to you dear coldman! post more often! hehe.

loudcloud said...


it's YOUR birthday soon! the geriatric ward is tapping its impatient fingers, humming the lyrics to It's A Small World After All.


happy new year! *hug*

The Capitalist Panda said...

HEEEEEEEEEEY! why does ian know your birthday and I dont! tryin to cheat us of your promised libre our you? Wahahahahhaha.

loudcloud said...

capitalist panda - i DIDN'T promise a libre. YOU imposed it! LOL