Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Just Because Jose Mari Chan Made It His Album Title Doesn’t Mean I’d Get out Of This Rut

Change, as clichéd tongues would mechanically wag to no end, is constant.Jose Mari Chan wailed (rather painfully) about it too. Though there is little room to dispute this unadventurous wisdom the smartass in me would oftentimes roll my eyes and reenact soundless vomiting midsentence when this very tenet is uttered.

What makes this tired belief more insufferable is the fact that whoever utters it is possessed of massive reserves of optimism that makes you wonder whether s/he swallowed both the sun and Oprah for breakfast.

I, being a habitual pragmatic/jaded lot, would take on this disposition with characteristic glum of someone who steered clear of Chicken Shit For The Soul, which is the cue for Mr./Ms. Sunshine to save me from the clutches of pessimism. Which, is precisely my cue to start screaming and begin entertaining thoughts on cannibalism.

And the most annoying thing is Mr/Ms Sunshine would smile brightly when you reject his/her positive, cheerful and hopeful disposition.

MSUNSHINE: Change is the only constant in this world.
YOU: So is your endless supply of clichés that makes my pancreas gray with boredom.
MSUNSHINE: (Smiling so bright you can tan youself under his/her gums): Why so negative?! Today is but another day and tomorrow...
YOU: *stabs him/her with a salad fork in the eye*

Which makes me wish for a raw deal:

IDEAL MSUNSHINE PREACHING: What an ungrateful, wretched bastard you are! Of course things change and you can either grow up and embrace this reality like every thinking person would rather than moping around like a baby who deserves to be forcedfed his own diapers! If it were up to me, fools such as yourself refusing to accept the evolutionary nature of things should have been aborted so you become less of a burden in this already insane world! Get real you piece of waste of protein!

I would have more respect for a person like that.

But no, I would always receive a dramatic sigh, an almost-psychotic smile and a sympathetic gaze that tells me the mutterer of a thousand clichés is worried for my very own welfare.

S/he probably is, and it’s a comfort to know it.

But why is unsolicited kindness always the Siamese twin of cliché?

Whatever happened to originality?


red the mod said...

Originality was lost among other impractical virtues as chivalry, tact, and political correctness.

The enacted scene got me laughing so hard my cigarette fell on my foot.

But do understand that some, if not most, people need the sugarcoated white lies and patronizing clichés to nurture their emotionally retarded shortcomings. Unsolicited kindness may very well be the anti-matter of unwarranted animosity.

Anonymous said...

Offers this advice to LC while smiling radiantly and offering a sympathetic demeanor : Suffering builds Character. Character adds to Sex Appeal. Sex Appeal is what you badly need.



loudcloud said...

red - well friendship and blunt honesty seems to be antithetical, innit?

CW - yeah, what a fallacious way of warping up yoda

ian said...

what goes around comes around so look before you leap. while to each his own, love begets love...

it's better to be safe than sorry; yet it's better late than never also. misery loves company so the more the merrier.

like einstein i know that you know that he who knows most knows how little he knows. but i hope you'll tap into your inner camus and claim-

In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.

*hang ten!*

loudcloud said...

ian - go away! hahaha