Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Strange Little F Word

Inamin na ni Gretchen Barretto na totoo ang kumalat na litrato sa internet na nagpapakitang naghahalikan sila ng aktor na si John Estrada ngunit itinatanggi nito na mayroon silang relasyon ng aktor. Sa pamamagitan ng kanyang manager na si Boy Abunda, isiniwalat nito ang katotohanan sa likod ng kontrobersyal na mga litrato sa programang ‘The Buzz’ ng ABS-CBN kagabi. Ayon kay Abunda, hindi itinatanggi ni Gretchen na siya talaga at si John ang nasa litrato. - from scads of scandal sheets, blogs and tiresome telecasts

Hardly anyone is talking about fidelity anymore. It’s one of those quaint, old-fashioned, naive notions that went extinct with Betamax, home-cooked meals and cassette tapes. Mention fidelity to a potential date and you’d be stared at the same concentration as a three day fungal growth while warning gongs erupt everywhere in his head. You might as well be Kathy Bates in Misery.

Wedding anniversaries are suspect: what is wrong with these people? How can they stand each other for such a long time without sliding into homicide? Are they deeply masochistic? These mystified thoughts usually precipitate from the very skeptical ones who got weaned from Hollywood weddings where the bridal gown’s train is longer than the marriage. Oftentimes these come quick among those who can’t hold their own end of the bargain.

You can’t be blamed, you say to yourself. You have scars to show for trustfulness. Several bruises later you smarten up. You coat your affection with cynical detachment. Every strand of hopefulness is self-pruned. Distrust becomes your primordial antibody; the confidence of unlimited potential partners out there being your ultimate justification. The question is: Who are we deluding anyway? At what point does our recklessness come to a proper halt?

Sometimes you remind yourself this is the selfish generation; a generation not briefed to the virtues of restraint and self deprivation. Instant gratification is the tenet to live by, and the wounds gushing behind every footstep are coldly chalked off to experience.

Indeed it is a generation so desperate for connections yet guardedly isolated. An inspired, keen ad by Kenneth Cole puts it thusly: "People spend more time in chatrooms than the bedroom. "

This is the generation of people making out in crowded dance floors with one eye fixed on the door in hope that something better will barge in. This is the generation of people hugging while secretly wishing their arms are so much longer. Personal space is everything—so is the thirst for thrilling new stimulations to stab off boredom. In constant pursuit! The Excitement! That Spark!

It is a burning generation where fondness is disguised by steam. Sex is more of a commodity, a transaction. A mutual relief. A handshake. Passion is a flaw; detachment is a basic, instinctive, and an essential survival aptitude.

Whatever happened to fidelity? It’s like dreaming for magic while erecting fences of jadedness all around.

Not dissimilar to rummaging around for penguins in the sands of Sudan. It may not be there but one furtively hopes all the same. And in that imagined hopefulness lays our shared yearning for old-fashioned faithfulness.

Knowing its nonexistence brings nothing but unjustifiable emptiness.

10 comments:

amateur misanthrope said...

Who does your art work? Brilliant!

loudcloud said...

amateur misanthrope - i do. thanks for the compliment! they are all not so polished as i am always impatient in finishing them right away to go with the entries. hehe. i wish im more technically good in using the software so i can illustrate my entries proficiently. thanks for wandering in and leaving a comment!

Anonymous said...

Fidelity's not a big word in the modern Pinoy's dictionary. I mean, hardly anyone takes the church's teaching seriously. And people think this country can prosper when even the basic unit of the society is putrefying.

Antigonic (too lazy to log in, hahaha)

loudcloud said...

antigonic - should we blame ruffa for this? or gretchen? maybe this is a subversive trend in reaction to gazillion decades of piousness? maybe we really should blame manoling morato? hehe

The Aceist said...

Huwat...?! Di pa polished 'yang artworks mo sa lagay na 'yan?

Oh well... I'd like to say something about this post. At ito 'yun:

I agree!



Share ko lang... I'm really an idealist. I still believe there are people out there who are faithful and loyal. Those who feel and know the difference of love from lust.

I'm still giving Gretchen the benefit of the doubt. Baka naman natalisod lang si John Estrada habang hawak niya ang camera/cameraphone at pumalakda siya sa tabi ni Gretchen at napa-kiss sa bibig, at napindot ang camera... Malay natin!

Ahahahaha!

Ume-eksena talaga sila... Global warming na lang pag-usapan natin.

loudcloud said...

Aceist - if you happen to magnify the images you'd know how sloppy they are: the nodes are not well-curved, the edges jagged in wrong sections--not so fluid. it's as if they are drawn by someone by a dyslexic on red horse and ampethamines.

re: the entry. well, idealists usually suffer. which is the romantic part of it. otherwise if everything's peaches and cream you'd get so bored you'd end up taking serial killing. hehe.

re: gretchen. your theory, though something that might happen in a parallel universe is debunked by her admittance. i don't normally follow celebrity ruckus; this one caught my attention because it kind of makes you wonder what in hell was she thinking. it's beyond reason. thereby it's mystifying appeal.

The Aceist said...

gusto niya lang magpapansin. si gretchen a.k.a. grendel.

at di naman sa pagkapulido tinitingnan yung ganda ng graphics mo eh. ang witty niya kasi. LOLz

pwede ka sa TIME Magazine.

loudcloud said...

aceist - yes, and the public keeps on feeding on the shenanigans of attention/media whores. hehe.

salamat sa comment re graphics!

Kai Santorino said...

what program do you use for your artwork?

loudcloud said...

kai - i'm using both corel and adobe indesign. but i'm more comfortable doing illustrations in corel and at ease designing in indesign. i can't get the hand of adobe illustrator and other software because i'm a retard technology-wise. i'd rather draw using charcoal and white pads hehe