Tenacity

Far from sounding fatalistic but frustration greets me at work everyday. There are times when I catch myself wondering why I put up with all the bullshit. If my faith is really that strong in a blinded pursuit of work I am deeply passionate about. It's not much different from having a stroll in a minefield. You are always aware that a bummer will explode in your face at a given moment. Yet you forge on. Persistence is a peculiar virtue. It connotes something positive when what you really are is nothing but a bundle of stubborn nerves.

~ ~ ~

Insomnia crept back into full swing. It's almost four, and despite my self-imposed laziness in blogging I somehow managed to remember the password of yet another short-lived blog. This particular blog is insanely high in cringe factor. In the breadth of five brief entries I was able to gush an assortment of dorkiness that made sense back then but as I sped-read through them now the lumps of skin at the back of my neck crawl.

start
(Created on: Aug 10 2004 @ 01:29 PM)

write what you know. that's what most journalism professors always say. it's hogwash. a lame excuse for mediocrity to go on. still i decided to write. in a new journal. mostly about things i do not know, which is an interesting and embarrassing thing to hurl upon the world: my ignorance. i might write about what i know from time to time. this might be risk boring random people to death. there will be times when i will not write anything, if i don't feel like it. but for now i will write. not because writing is therapy. because writing will convince me that i actually exist. plus i'm really bored and i'm running out of excuses.

The final entry, a shameless solicitation for a date don't just make me gag, it makes me want to relocate to Rwanda and run amok among vigilantes.

rsvp
(Created on: May 10 2006 @ 01:14 PM)

you are out there. in fact you might even be reading this. you are either 20 or 31 years old. or comfortably old enough to fall in years between previously mentioned ages. you are good to look at. not so attractive to make me constantly insecure yet not bad looking enough to make me feel superior. i may not be good looking if your standard of beauty falls into the hollywood matinee types. (my friends tell me i'm not hideous looking, mainly because they have had four tequila shots.)

you are smart. you have many pursuits aside from random sex with strangers. you have interesting points of interest or have stimulating hobbies. you can converse and capable of decent or interesting opinions.

you must be educated enough to show some courtesy. must be not a leech and can hold up by yourself.

you know that sex can possibly be intimate, even with strangers, because it is not hurried but relished. you are not selfish and understands that to truly have the best out of sex you will be in tune with the pleasure of your partner. you know the pleasure points and have a sense of timing that will instinctively tell you when to move furiously and when to go very slow to heighten the sensation.

you know i'm talking to you. talk to me.

Though the entry managed to snag good responses from a few smart pencils in the blogging populace this is a shining proof that when it comes to selling myself my skills are outpaced by narcotized slugs.

Excuse me while I shudder.