Friday, September 19, 2008

Life Is [A Hysterical] Box Of Shit Sandwich

Disturbances are abundant these days. Pap is progressing slowly, work is a plateu of hopelessness, friends are equally miserable and for months now I have completely forgotten how to wake up capable of humming a tune. Shaking off the greyness that usually postdate a depressive turns of events is a herculean chore. So I consciously tried not to swim in alternating waves of resentment, self-doubt, anger and paralyzing sadness. I went to catch a couple of screenings at Cinema Europa at The Shang and got another helping of what could be viewed as a vicious cosmic joke: the one I was lining up was the British film And When Did You Last See Your Father? I immediately wanted to reread The Book Of Job in the same breath as wanting to laugh at the absurdity of how things hover from misery to comedy.

“Life is like a box of chocolate,” a friend attempts to comfort me over dinner, quoting from the movie I haven't seen.“You never know what you're gonna get.”

Let it be said that I am fond of this friend of mine and I would unhesitatingly dig a grave at three in the morning for someone she just had murdered. But that quote just made me want to peg her eyeball with a dull steak knife.

“Huh?” I say.

“Huh what?” she replies, furrowing her brows.

“How can you not know what you're gonna get? You're getting chocolates!”

She stares at me, incredulous. The kind of concerned look for my very own welfare.

“You said Life is a box of chocolates.” I push the issue a bit too far, teasing, enjoying the unplanned repartee with mad glee. “Unless someone is pulling a prank and packed goat droppings, you're getting the freaking chocolates!”

She tilts her chin inward, and looks at me like she's peering from imaginary spectacles, in complete disbelief of my perceived ignorance.

“Hmpf!” she scoffs. “You just don't get it.”

“I don't. What am I supposed to get from a box of chocolates aside from chocolates?”

“Give it a rest, genius.”

“If you said 'life is like a lidded jar in a Pharaoh's tomb' I will surely not know whether I'd fish out rubies or a live cobra. But a box of chocolates...”

“Next time I'd quote from Bride Of Chuckie!”

“Chuckie says, Life is a Box of...”

“Oh shut it.”

“For dessert I'd like to have a slice from a boxed chocolate cake. I wonder what I'd get.”


I laugh. She stabs her plate of linguini with a fork, and finishes her lunch grimly.

I feel slightly better.


datu/the wilted prune said...

For all we know, there could be a prune conspicuously stuffed in one of them chocolates. ;)

Good morning!

E said...

I can't believe you haven't seen FOREST GUMP...

hehehehehehhe it's funny how you felt better when you irritated your friend hehehehehhehe...

I hope you get out of the pits the soonest! Tc!!

Mugen said...

Life is like a box. Either you get chocolates or a turd inside the box as a surprise.

But of course you can smell what's inside just in case you have doubts. Haha.

Good day.

Misterhubs said...

Useless trivia: the actual lines from the movie were:

• “My momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get,” said by Forrest.

• “Life is like a box of chocolates, Forrest. You never know what you’re gonna get,” said by Forrest’s mom.

loudcloud said...

datu - yes, we cannot discount the possibility of a prune stuffed in chocolate. such sweet mischief, innit? haha.

mugen - i am alarmed that you are beginning to sound like misterhubs. LOL

loudcloud said...

e - i will one of these days, but every time someone quotes that chocolate shit bit i feel homicidal. hehe.

misterhubs - ever the lawyer that you are you always get the facts right ;-P

Mac! said...

Smart alec. Feeling slightly better at a friend's expense. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Just teasing. ;p

Anonymous said...



duke said...


loudcloud said...

mac! - that's precisely why it's delicious. hahaha. kidding.

x - mona lisa mode, aren't we? :P

duke - that i am. hehe. thanks for visiting and leaving a comment, doc! :-)