Planet Of The Weirds

Freaky things happen when you're oblivious to the moment. This week I had a couple doses of Salvador Dali episodes that are quite hysterical.

• Scene 01: I was waiting to cross a busy, congested street, totally absorbed with mindless thoughts whizzing like wild Frisbees tossed by The Flash. Out of nowhere a J-Lo bus conductor sprung out of nowhere and planted himself in front of me, and, before I could register my surprise he uttered “I love you!” I was flabbergasted. Then he grinned insanely and offered a goofy alibi to a another conductor standing next to us who saw the bizarre hoo-ha and was as speechless as I was. “Malay mo makabola!” (“Who knows, flattery might work!”) he chuckled and walked off to bark for passengers. I turned around to check if he meant the startling expression of love for some lady standing behind me only to behold three guys trying to contain an outburst of the giggles. I laughed and we all laughed. I shook my head, crossed the street thinking of the amorous ticket dispenser. For all our sakes he needs to have his eyes checked. Ditto his head.

• Scene 02: I was sitting in the plant box in front of the building where I live waiting for my Portuguese friend to pick me up for volunteer work. This cute lanky guy who used to live in the building sat in the same plant box, an arm-length from where I was sitting. Not in the mood for small talk I began fiddling with my iPod, pretending to scan for tracks to play while observing him with my peripheral vision. Some ten minutes later he rolled up the sleeve of his plain white T-shirt, revealing his moderately defined biceps, flexing a little. I acted nonchalant though in my head I was going “Whoa!” Is he trying to make me envious? Is he flirting? I have no idea. I used to eye this dude in the lift but being a dork that I am I follow a stern “Don't shit on your own backyard” policy. Now here he is showing off his muscular protrusions. I would say weirdo had it not for the fact that he's quite edible.
  

These two surreal episodes had me puzzled. Whatever possessed those two oddballs to act like that? Though the megalomaniac in me will declare that I don't look horrific I am hardly dreamboat material either. I do not inspire spontaneous orgasms nor will I be cast as Jude Law's body double anytime soon. So my suspicion goes: Do I have a neon blinking sign in my forehead that says “Oddball Magnet”?

Or it's just that the world is full of creepy characters.

If that's the case then, to some degree, it's a relief. I have something to blog about and there will be no space for boredom to drive me bonkers.