Opening Scene Straight Out Of A Badly-Lit Porn Video

Loud knocks - no, scratch that. The manic poundings sounded like a demented mule, raging on Ketamines, decided to practice cha cha moves using all four hoofs on my defenseless door.

I drowsily reached out for my mobile phone on the floor and jolted out of unconsciousness. Holy crap! Almost lunch time!

My woozy brains tried to dredge up foggy details from last night's Red Horse+Lemon Wedges incident and staggering towards the door my groggy head half-ly imagines that the poundings (both on the door and the inner linings of my skull) are nothing but a vivid bad dream and I'm nothing short of a hung-over sleepwalking skunk.

Annoyed I opened the door. Outside stood the Building's Officer In Charge of Security accompanied by two Meralco technicians.

Oh, drat! I forgot to pay my electric bill again! Bleep! Bleep! Bleep!

This is where residues of last night's beer dissipated and my full mortification came crashing like a grand piano being dropped from the penthouse unto my half-conscious head:

Fuck a duck! I opened the door dressed in nothing but white boxer briefs!

I immediately slammed the door, ran back to the shower, grabbed a towel, wrapped it around my hips and reopened the door and beheld the amused half-smirk of the three guys in the hallway.

I tried to carry out a straight face.

Then I cracked. Acknowledging my utter humiliation with a blushing laugh. Then everyone cracked.

I apologized for forgetting the payment, got the disconnection notice from the technician, closed the door, hurriedly grabbed a toothbrush, washed my face and slipped into sneakers, denim and shirt and hurtled towards the Meralco branch in blasted Pasig.

Then I remembered the looks on their faces. I let out another hearty chuckle, dousing my lingering mortification.

Also, regretting the fact that I failed to wink at the cute moreno technician.

Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!