Monday, April 30, 2007

Assault Of A Vengeful Vegan Part Deux

Approximating the sly trickery of an obnoxious hyena I quietly sidled up to my Vegan Editor Friend who was preoccupied on checking the merchandise at Rustan’s.

“SHOPPING FOR FURS?!?” I loudly croaked behind her, prompting a choked yelp and a jerky jump.

“Bastard!” she laughed, recovering her embarrassing loss of composure. “I’m picking up a birthday gift for my cousin.”

“How about a leather…”

“Don’t start.” She warned.

“Or a mink. Women love minks. A python bag…”

“Why do you have to be such an asshole?” she rolled her eyeballs.

“Inside every vegan is a carnivore eating her way out.” I chuckled.

“You are one of those people that makes lethal injection seem rational.”

Be wary of vegans. They’d save the cows but won’t twitch on frying humans.


Boyd said...

yours has got to be one of the best written, most poetic blogs i've ever read.

Antigonic said...

I agree. Your last line made me recall one of Gaiman's short stories, Babycakes which basically revolves around animal testing then 'baby' testing. Mind if I link you? :)

indigo snow said...

boyd -

thank you for the compliment. i fear my ego inflated to such scary proportions and now approximate that of a Goodyear blimp.

antigonic -

it would be a pleasure. thank you!