Monday, April 30, 2007

Assault Of A Vengeful Vegan Part Deux

Approximating the sly trickery of an obnoxious hyena I quietly sidled up to my Vegan Editor Friend who was preoccupied on checking the merchandise at Rustan’s.

“SHOPPING FOR FURS?!?” I loudly croaked behind her, prompting a choked yelp and a jerky jump.

“Bastard!” she laughed, recovering her embarrassing loss of composure. “I’m picking up a birthday gift for my cousin.”

“How about a leather…”

“Don’t start.” She warned.

“Or a mink. Women love minks. A python bag…”

“Why do you have to be such an asshole?” she rolled her eyeballs.

“Inside every vegan is a carnivore eating her way out.” I chuckled.

“You are one of those people that makes lethal injection seem rational.”

Be wary of vegans. They’d save the cows but won’t twitch on frying humans.

3 comments:

Boyd said...

yours has got to be one of the best written, most poetic blogs i've ever read.

Antigonic said...

I agree. Your last line made me recall one of Gaiman's short stories, Babycakes which basically revolves around animal testing then 'baby' testing. Mind if I link you? :)

indigo snow said...

boyd -

thank you for the compliment. i fear my ego inflated to such scary proportions and now approximate that of a Goodyear blimp.

antigonic -

it would be a pleasure. thank you!