Assault Of A Vengeful Vegan Part Deux
Approximating the sly trickery of an obnoxious hyena I quietly sidled up to my Vegan Editor Friend who was preoccupied on checking the merchandise at Rustan’s.
“SHOPPING FOR FURS?!?” I loudly croaked behind her, prompting a choked yelp and a jerky jump.
“Bastard!” she laughed, recovering her embarrassing loss of composure. “I’m picking up a birthday gift for my cousin.”
“How about a leather…”
“Don’t start.” She warned.
“Or a mink. Women love minks. A python bag…”
“Why do you have to be such an asshole?” she rolled her eyeballs.
“Inside every vegan is a carnivore eating her way out.” I chuckled.
“You are one of those people that makes lethal injection seem rational.”
Be wary of vegans. They’d save the cows but won’t twitch on frying humans.
3 comments:
yours has got to be one of the best written, most poetic blogs i've ever read.
I agree. Your last line made me recall one of Gaiman's short stories, Babycakes which basically revolves around animal testing then 'baby' testing. Mind if I link you? :)
boyd -
thank you for the compliment. i fear my ego inflated to such scary proportions and now approximate that of a Goodyear blimp.
antigonic -
it would be a pleasure. thank you!
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