Acute Cuteness

Cuteness in excessive doses brings out my latent Nazi tendencies to surface.

I have repeatedly written about this: Possessing an uncomplimentary reputation of being openly warped relieves me from all the feeble obligations to logic, level-headedness and sobriety. The downside is it also makes me look at all things candy-coated-fluff as emotional butane to unleash my homicidal streak.

Unbearable Cuteness exploded at Talksmart’s Blogger Of The Week today. I clicked on my blogroll to check who aced the week’s nominations and was delighted that iampaperbag won. The little that I know of the blogger can be summed up through this personal bias: iampaperbag is one of the engaging, articulate blogs out there. So I did what Toni and JoyJoy did: I campaigned. (It’s not everyday you get to rally for one of the refreshing voices out there in the vast wasteland that is the blogosphere.) My elation was cut short, however. Thanks to the übercute antics of hyphenated buzz-er.

Who was so cute I am reaching for a revolver.


7 Oct 07, 15:56
buzz-er: congratulations to all winners! those proxy servers must've pumped up in the past week! Hehehe

7 Oct 07, 16:00
buzz-er: before using proxy servers, make sure to exhaust campaign techniques to make your victory believable for the next week. there's no such thing as INFLUENTIAL BLOGGER when you have PROXY.. good luck!:-D

7 Oct 07, 16:05
ester: to proxy server, ur simply teaching us to cheat? well have fun.. we dont have to do that but thanks for the info..

7 Oct 07, 16:08
ester: to buzz-er i really think iampaperbag deserve to win and not because to cheated

7 Oct 07, 16:11
james: hmm..i think buzz-er opened a can of worms. congrats pinoys and to pacquiao

Now let’s see. I am not one to lose my sense of humor but I fear someone drank expired KoolAid.

Allegation of proxy servers rigging (whatever that is, I’m a technoretard, don’t ask) maybe a rampant practice, and as such, to deny its existence would be simplistic. If people won using this technique are we dense enough not to figure it out especially if his/her blog is as shaky as a cauldron-full of gooey tapioca? Talksmart's rules would have it that winning the popularity poll (proxy-rigged or rightfully-won) is only one part of the process; all nominees would still undergo the weighted evaluation/votation of different judges with the final ten percent weight bestowed by talksmart himself. As I mentioned on the site's message board: I personally fill the quota for scepticism when popularity is invoked, but I would be the last one to campaign for popular mediocrity either.

In a dazzling display of self-convinced cleverness and what can be passed-off as narcissistic levity buzz-er posted something that would make the entire Sanrio Store pale in embarrassment:

7 Oct 07, 19:14
buzz-er: i did and i love it. smart one. can someone nominate loudcloud, nadriamez, cantiilanon, and iampaperbag next week. proxify the votes woohoo!

Buzz-er, Buzz-er, dude, calm down. Stop inhaling paint thinners. Desist using Liquid Sosa as ionizer reagent. And for all our sakes stop confusing mothballs and Tang. Also, it’s high time you layoff the Hello Kitty fetish. It’s corroding your brains. Seriously.

If you step out of your presumed shrewdness a second and actually browsed through my archives you would have noticed that I failed miserably the previous attempts at winning the cyberpoll. I have whined publicly (and shamelessly) on the lack of rabid supporters. But does that give me license to haze with malice the Blogger Of The Week’s aim to bring together a diverse range of bloggers into the one online clearing for everyone to converge in? Insert your vicious innuendo in explaining the reason for my sudden win if you must, but I can safely deduce my blog would be better written than your offensive tirade. (See, I have no problem in the self-esteem department and humility isn't my most sterling virtue. )

But I agree with you on one aspect: Yes, people are delusional (that includes me). They think writing about their ugly pets or breathlessly narrating their daily non-events is worthy of public adulation and support. Yes, there is that tendency to cheat. But who are we fooling here? A gazillion trophies cannot obscure the glaring lack of writing talent. Counterarguments will be viewed moronic and summarily ignored.

So Buzz-er, dude, pare, tsong, isn’t it a tad cute of you to utter such immortal line “can someone nominate loudcloud, nadriamez, cantiilanon, and iampaperbag next week. proxify the votes woohoo!” and not go down blogging history as the most ill-mannered, resentful douchebag version of Jay Leno In Baby Pink?

You have unmasked me! As Julia Phillips would probably write: My Fraudulent Butt Will Never Eat Lunch In This Town Again! I feel sooooo exposed, Oprah! Hu hu hu, hand me the Kleenex, Dr. Phil!

The mere fact that you overlooked the fluid, rhythmical craft cantilangnon infuses in his blog, in a dialect true to his roots as you hopscotch about in self-congratulations for your technical guile horrifies me: ignorance is the common breeder of dismissiveness. Dissmissiveness begets anger. Anger begets suffering. Suffering leads to the darrrrkkk side! Hrrrmmm? No, wait...

So please do us both a favor. Stand on your head and see if brain oxidation is feasible. Or join this semi-clever game I just made up: I’ll give you five dollars. You go away. Everybody wins.