Ambiguity and Ominousity

Inconvenience often shapes our character and nothing made this realization more palpable than all the precariousness erupting like fireworks at work in the past month. Today was no mortal exception. In fact today’s events have shoved a rather unsympathetic perspective into full maturity. I have anticipated December with amplified optimism and enthusiasm only to have all the high hopes crushed into a slow smolder of disappointment and discontent. The gladiator in me refuses to be stared down but the more sensible nerves ground me with unshakeable confrontations of misplaced faith. This and the acrid acceptance of everyone’s portion in the communal frustration. People have flaws and characteristic bankruptcies and investing so much blind faith is prone to the most devastating disillusionment. Had these things happen during my selfish, younger years, the brat inside me would throw a raging fit. Now even in my own surprise I meet every adverse situation with steady shrug of objective composure. Adulthood is something to be feared. It’s a constant warfare mired with bittersweet awareness and sympathy for the shortcomings of others. It is a tough, sore street to trudge on. You hunch your shoulders in loss and cast the first step.