Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Great Blogjesters Bonanza

Humor is cocaine only legal. Addictive, entertaining, way much cheaper than therapy and in the face of all the madness in the world makes life sufferable. Which brings me to the sole purpose of this drivel: The Laffapalooza Blog Award—a genius spark of Badoodles aka Kwentong Barbero to elevate humor into the ferocity level of both the Olympic Games and the race for The Oval Office. You get the gist.

Before I slap my support badge to my nominated bloggers’ foreheads allow me to thank Coldman who accidentally nominated my blog for this feral blogging bonanza. I have high regard for Coldman and his blog; I digress there everyday. But the whole idea of nominating my warped blog to headbutt with the local blogosphere’s heavy-hitters made me cast clouds of doubts on his sanity. My blog is five light years from being funny. What I pass off as humor infuriates the hell out of people. Coldman, I admire you, but whatever you were smoking I don’t want some! Haha. Seriously, it’s a sweet gesture that should not remain unappreciated. Thank you.

But I encourage you, despite Coldman’s heart-warming confidence in me, NOT to vote for Loud Cloud but for the following more deserving contenders. They live up to the essence of a true humor blog. They are so good they should be illegal. They should come with a three hundred points neon Helvetica
health hazard warning: DON’T READ THESE BLOGS WHILE EATING POLVORON!

01 Chiksilog. – Sassy, deadpan, a blogging kitten who is a genetic splice of Jessica Rabbit, Catwoman, Sarah Silverman and the tranny manicurist in your neighborhood beauty parlor who happen to own Uma Thurman’s samurai in Kill Bill. Choosing to blog in Tagalog makes her humor all the more piquant, with more flavors and textures than Chowking’s Halo Halo Special. Don’t annoy her.

02 Misterhubs – If you want to steer clear of paralyzing lawsuits don’t, under any circumstances, allow this guy to write captions/reviews for fashion, society page royalettes and celebrity sections! Though a live TV talkshow should be in order. This legal urbanite knows no sacred cow: from turds, to chocnuts, from eyeballing hijinks to meaningful relationships, this guy delivers a smart brand of warped humor with more twists than Bob Marley’s dreadlocks. The annoying thing is he gets away with dissecting even the most revolting topic with breezy abandon and still illicit convulsions from random readers.

03 Noisy Noisy Man – One of Life’s Greatest Mysteries is: Why is this blogger not plied from his current job to write movie scripts and TV sitcoms we would rush home to watch? A comic star in his own right he has a legion of rabid fans who devour his madcap tales covering anything and everything under the thick smog blanketing the metropolis. And beyond. Self-deprecating, riotous, his insights are often warped but cuts like a surgeon’s scalpel in areas not intended to be sliced but emerge from it in appreciative howls of laughter.

04 Coldman and 05The Balloon Dream – At risk of being a member of Mutual Masturbation Society, I nominate them because they share an almost common quality: their brand of humor is not only hilariously wacky, but they come across as the guys who are genuinely pleasant to swap snappy slapsticks with. They look at things in slightly off-kilter way which makes everything hilarious and witty. In a parallel universe they are the less neurotic Jimmy Fallon who will make geriatric grandmothers moist in areas where the sun doesn’t shine.

Since the rule has it that I break the tie, I have no choice but remove the following from my nomination list:

Cofibean – The High Lord Cavendish Of Sarcasm. With his coniotic-speak, God’s-Gift-To-Humankind demeanor, Snooty caliber of brutal humor, here is the hardboiled hilarity which is inimitable in its self-possessed nuttiness. He regularly skewers the blogosphere and reap tsunamis of ire from service oriented industry professionals who he fondly refers to as ‘natives’ on a generous day and ‘orcs’ when he misses his valium fix.

Again, vote for the abovementioned people. Ignore my blog. Have the highest honors and accolades to their rightful winners. I’d rather bribe Badoodles with ten tequila shots to rig the cash prize raffle in my favor. A reasonable trade, if you ask me, because like most responsible citizens I am a committed proponent of fairness.

24 comments:

XienahGirL said...

i am NOT a humor blog
ugh.
but then i agree
that i should be illegal
:)

sarah silverman?
seriously?
a blogging kitten
is just plain sweet.
meow.
i think i should do
tik ti la ok
or something to that extent.

dont annoy me?
i dont get easily annoyed
unless
JLC is bashed
as being
adekk.
:)

thanks for voting--
for always being there.

*drinks muriatic acid*

loudcloud said...

sige payag na ako ibaba ng onti yung level: barely legal na lang! bwahahhaa

JL is bangag sa biogesic! ano tawag mo dun? huh?

XienahGirL said...

i hope JLC has good liver.

belat ka
hmpft.
:)

ignoramous said...

My.. What... Yep.. I completely agree with loud. JL's chewing biogesic incessantly since (God knows when...)

Doon ata siya kumukuha ng lakas ng loob para perahan ang kanyang mga gf. wahahaha..

Ei loud, thanks for the vote kahit na emo blog talaga ako. :D

loudcloud said...

kumpareng igno! eksakli! ginawang poor man's viagra ang paracetamol! hahaha.

sige lang, botohan lang. sasabihin ko rin ikaw ay gwa--no wait! baka lalo ka ma emo, kasalanan ko pa! hahhaa

talksmart said...

Thanks for the interesting idea. We should do it! Great! You'd be the main judge and you could pick for two more.

I will think of how to make it more interesting. Offer a prize? hmmm...

toni/nonblogger said...

mas madalas nde ako mkarelate sa mga pinaguusapan nyo.
tipong PG daw ba? pa inosente epek daw kasi ako.
nakakatuwa naman loudcloud ang support na ginagawa mo sa mga kebigan mo. sa totoo lang marami din akong kilalang blogger na katulad mo.
tenk you mah fren.

sana makahakot kayo ng maraming boto.

MISTERHUBS said...

Wow. I'm so humbled by this much deserved nomination! Thanks, loudcloud!

(Psst, so much do I owe you? Do you accept monthly payments? Hehe.)

Coldman said...

aba! e natutuwa ako sa blog mo e,

pero salamat pa din sa nosebleed.

hahaha!

XienahGirL said...

stop bashing JLC
you creeps
:)

get a life ignoramous.
hahaha

loudcloud said...

talksmart - i wrote in your cbox some possible stuff we can look into to jump start the project :)

loudcloud said...

toni - ganun talaga, kelangan suportahan ang deserving friends. pero pag gagu yung friend siguradong dedmahan. hehe.

salamat sa pagdalaw ulit dito kaibigan (ugh i sound like boy abunda! bwahaha. *cringe*)

loudcloud said...

misterhubs - no problem, you deserve to be up there as one of the bloggers who can induce hearty chuckles.

i don't remember sending the billing, so payment is unnecessary; just indulge us with more entries ;-)

loudcloud said...

coldman - hayaan mo, next time magpapapicture ako sa ilalim ng malago at luntiang puno na may kasamang asul na oso para mapansin mo rin at ng magka cameo appearance ako sa blog mo! bwahahha

loudcloud said...

xienah - we are so NOT bashing JLC! we are just describing his aphrodisiac :P

si igno kasi binanggit pa yung viagra hahahah, ayan, suya na yung diyosa! LOL

coldman said...

if that's the case, 100% mapapansin kita, puno + asul na uso = masterpiece!

I can't wait! Hahahaha!

badoodles said...

nice picks. way to go. yan lang ang kaya kong inglisan. heto pa pala ang isa. woot. kung inglis man yan. hindi ko muna bibilangin ang pang-fourth dahil ayon sa rule book, void ang boto pag may tie sa ranking. mahirap ibreyk ang tie lalo pat mahal natin ang blog nila. sabihin mo na lang magbato-bato pik na lang sina coldman at balloon dream. ang manalo siyang tatanggalin sa pwesto. para may twist. ang saya di ba.

loudcloud said...

badoodles - if that is the case then no matter how i love cofibean, siya muna i drop ko. he's been nominated already and has legion of voters to make up for my missing vote. my new ranking would be 4) coldman and 5) the balloon dream. ok na ba yan? hehe

ade said...

Wow. Cmon, I'm no comic star. I don't have women begging me to father their kids. Yet.

loudcloud said...

ade! that is about to change, i hope. soon uberfertile members of womankind will scramble towards you like demented, possessed peacocks on hormone hyperdrive. then you can blog more about it! everybody wins. hehe

badoodles said...

let's see.. uhm.. but i need to see ur updated post with ur new picks for d 4th and 5th place.

loudcloud said...

i hear ya, badoodles! i have updated my nominees rankings. maybe i'd cheat and open phantom blogs to nominate these folks repeatedly. hehe. um, no.

badoodles said...

does your ten tequila shots bribe include a hot white chic with hairless vagina? mmm..now, dat's something. in d interest of fairness. haha.

ur votes are in. thanks for joining.

loudcloud said...

you have just described pamela anderson with a package deal of hepatitis. but hey, if that makes you stiff, why not! haha.